The traits needed by Prince Harry's future bride

In an earlier post, I discussed the daunting obstacles that would face Prince Harry's future wife (assuming, of course, that he gets married). A logical question might then be "what qualities would she need in order to succeed?" In no order of importance, those traits are:

(1) Discretion. The golden rule of life within the royal family, whether upstairs or downstairs, is discretion: "never complain, never explain." Indiscretion is the kiss of death for any royal relationship, as many paramours have found to their surprise.

Trust is linked to discretion; lose the Royal Family's trust, and it's all but impossible to regain.

(2) Being grounded. The adjustment to life as Prince Harry's (hypothetical) wife would be difficult and confusing. As Princess Diana aptly put it:

One minute I was nobody, the next minute I was Princess of Wales, mother, media toy, member of this family and it was just too much for one person to handle.

A woman who is self confident, has adequate levels of self esteem, a relatively stable background, and a good support network would stand a better chance of dealing with the far-reaching changes inherent in marriage to Harry.

(3) Adaptability. In both her public and private life, Harry's wife would face new experiences. Among other things, she would eat unfamiliar cuisine, press the flesh with total strangers, and have her life scheduled in excruciating minutiae. And not everything in life goes according to plan. This is the case even in the Royal Family. Tour schedules might be adjusted. Transport vehicles may break down or be deemed unsuitable. Being adaptable would definitely make life easier for her.

(4) Having a sense of humor. Being able to see the absurdity and humor in situations would be an effective coping mechanism. Laughter is indeed the best medicine.

(5) Assertiveness. As a member of the Royal Family, Prince Harry's wife would be building relationships with numerous parties, balancing a meaningful public role with a fulfilling private life, maintaining her own style, and trying to avoid exploitation and manipulation by those with ulterior motives. Being assertive would help her stay true to herself and what she believes in.


(6) Perseverance. Being new to the game, Prince Harry's wife would make mistakes. Whether she sinks or swims would depend on her ability to hang in there and learn from her errors.

(7) Empathy. Being empathetic would help Prince Harry's wife be more down-to-earth, more compassionate, more approachable, more likely to touch people and relate to them, and more likeable. That's always a good thing, no?


What do you think? Leave comments and questions below.

The daunting walk down the aisle for Prince Harry's future bride

On his Diamond Jubilee Tour Prince Harry has collected legions of female fans, such as Miss Bahamas Anastagia Pierre, who has expressed a desire to marry him. 

The lucky lady who finds herself engaged - and eventually married - to Harry will marry not just a person, but an institution and a way of life. Besides the changes and adjustments that marriage normally brings, joining the British Royal Family presents several unique challenges she will have to overcome:

(1) Press intrusion: This is the most daunting aspect of Royal life. Although the British monarchy needs the media to remain relevant, the constant press attention is claustrophobic and obsessive. Everything Harry's wife says, does, and wears will be front page news. She will always be photographed and videotaped. Staff will leak stories, and media pundits will take snipes at her. In the words of Princess Diana:

I had a very bad time with the press - they literally haunted and hunted me.

(2) Family traditions and rituals: The British Royal Family has quirky traditions and practices which are landmines for the uninitiated. Safely navigating them will require a quick ability to learn and adaptability.

(3) Meddling courtiers: Each member of the royal family has their own retinue of staff. As in any bureaucracy, employees try to influence the royals' actions and decision-making, and try to increase their power by playing royals off each other. In short, Harry's wife will have to wonder if her staff have her best interests at heart instead of their own.

(4) Public role: Harry's wife will likely be expected to be a dutiful, quiet, "ladylike" clothes horse who carries out the charitable and social duties expected of her. She will not be allowed to tackle controversial issues, and she will have to reconcile social norms of what a princess looks like with her actual body size and attributes. She will inevitably find herself compared to Prince William's wife and Princess Diana. She will have to fight to carve a unique public role for herself

(5) Elitism: British society is very class-based. If Prince Harry's wife comes from a lower socioeconomic class than him, it will attract unfavorable commentary from those, both among Harry's family/friends and the wider UK public, who will see her as a gold digger and social climber.

What do you think? Please leave comments and questions below.